I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkk

It's little ole' me again.
Broke up again....
i think its for good this time.
It's hard but i honestly feel so much better. That relationship was just so unhealthy. And even though i loved that boy more than i loved myself i could not take being treated like that any longer. I need someone who is excited to see me, who will call me beautiful all the time, who will take me on random dates, plan out things for us to do without me asking, who will make me laugh, and most of all someone who will love me more than anything in the world...like i loved him. I want to llove someone and be loved in return. I needed to let go. Even though its gonna be really hard this summer and senior year i know this was the best thing for me to do. I deserve better. I deserve someone who will love me. So now i'm single and i'm gonna work on me and just have fun and be happy. This is the happiest i've been in a long time. I feel good even though i;m alone but i'm happy now. Hopefully it'll last and i'll be strong.

Possible prom dress??

Cute right? :)

1 thing you can't live without :)

LAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :))))))

LICENSEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! :))))))))))))))))))))))

Guess who got there license today? MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 Songs :)

Wayyyy to many to choose :( but if i had to...

1. IntoYour Arms by The Maine
2. Just the Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra :))))))

So cute:)

3 films :)

1. the Notebook :) all time favorite
2. SALT!!!
3. Tuck Everlasting:))))))

Last nightttt

lasttttttt nightttttttttttt was pretty chill. We're good now everything is pretty much back to normal. We held hands and i got butterflies again :) i guess that means I'll never reallly stop loving him... i just hope i don't screw up this time again. I really need to work on how i treat him because honestly i don't pick fights and i do blame everything on him and i am sort of bi polar when we're texting :/ so i need to work on those things but you know he could work on being cuter :) that'd be nice for me.

4 books :)

1. The Notebook :)
2. My Name is Memoryyy. Amazing book :)))))
3. HARRY POTTER SERIES!!! hands down the best books ever written.
4. Eveningggg :) very beautiful love story

Summer summer summer!!!

I don't wanna slow slow slow down town

Last night with sagie was funnn :))) eat, pray, love is an intersting moviebut i recommend it for couples having a hard time it really shows the meaning of life and love :) so cute. Anyways tonight I'm going over to boy's house for his mom's new years party. Kinda nervousssss....but hopefully all goes well.

5 foods :) my favorite

1. New addiction: sour gummy worms :)
2. Any form if potatoes: mashed, baked, hash browns
3. Chick-fil-a french fries are the bestttt
4. Cheez-its!!!!!
5. Salmon :))))

Pretty pretty pretty :)

It's gonna be a bigggggggg night!

SOOOOOOOOOO excited for this weekend and next week!!!
This is the deal: tomorrow night I'm going to see tangled! and painting my new house which should be fun because my sagie is coming :) and then saturday should be interesting.  We'll see what happens. I'm supposed to hang out with boy but knowing him he'll bail.... :/ not surprising. And then next week guess what I'm gettinggggg!!!!! :))))))) MY LICENSE!!! ahhhhhh. Cannnnot freakinnn wait.....!!!! Freedom at last :) That's it but I'm just really excited :) then next weekend I'm hangin with my oldiessss K and Tay :))))

6 places you want to go :)

Wayyyy too many to choose from but if i had too....

1. Brazillll :)
   
2. Greece! OPA!!!


3. Jamaicaaaa


4. Ireland :))))


5. U.K. fo sho.


6. Australia :)

i had toooooooo :)

:( marry me

UPDATEEEE :)

SOOOO yesterday was an all over pretty good day :) one of my old friends who i got in a fight with back in october and havent talked to since texted me :)))) we talked on the phone for a little bit and i forgot how much i really missed her and needed her in my life :( but we're good now which makes me oh so ever happy!!! and then i went to old navy and rocked it out with my bff. I gotsome weird looks for dancing to mustang sally but i had a dandy time :)) oh yeah then boy and me talked :/ he pissed me off so much. Im really getting tired of his new attitude. I wish i could move on but i can't :( he really needs to go back to the old him. I miss it more than anything in the world. But i know he never will which sucks because i really loved the old him. Now i just love the thought of him. UGH hate boys right now. Except for you Channing Tatum :) you are always welcome in my life :)

You belong with me...

7 wants :)

1. I want someone to do whatever it takes to make me his. Go to the ends of the earth just to be with me and make me soooooo happy. Put my feelings in front of his own. Be a man like in the old days. Like open doors for me and pull out my chair. Or bring me flowers randomly. Cute little things just to see me smile.
2. I want to be taller.....grrrr.
3. I want to be the prettiest girl ever in someones eyes ;))))
4. I want to live my life to the complete fullest with no regrets whatsoeverrr
5. I want to make it into VSA!
6. I want to change the world in some small way.
7. I want to make it into my dream college and have the time of my life when Im there :)

I love you always forever. Near or far i will be with you :)

Summertime :)))))))))

8 fears :)

1. Never being able to fall in love again
2. Not succeeding in life
3. Not being happy
4. Not living my life to the fullest
5. Hurting someone i love
6. Drowning :/ had a bad dream
7. Being alone :( like never finding someone
8. Not seeing the world

GRRRRRR

Angry and pissed at a certain someone who thinks they can walk all over me. God, please take me out of this misery. Either make him grow up and realize he needs to treat me WAYYY better or please just make a new hot boy move into town who has all the qualities I need in a guy. You can pick. Preferably choice #  2 because the boy mentioned in choice #1 will never realize what he has or why he needs to treat me better.
Love relationships SO much right now...
Sarcasm, deal.

SOOOOOOO freaking cuteee :)

9 loves :)

1. God
2. Familyyy
3. My friends
4. The wonderful and amazing sun that brightens my every day :)
5. B-E-A-utiful nature
6. Laughter!!!
7. Musica :))))
8. Him :/
9. Cuddling is my absolute favorite (:

California girls we're unforgettable. Daisy dukes bikinis on top. Sun kissed skin so hot we'll melt your Popsicles :)

Read the obvious :/

As you can tell and from what i just read, i am so entirely confused about this whole situation. One minute I'm done and i think i deserve better and the next i love him and i want him back. I'm just going to have to have fun with this and not worry. No real decisions are made in high school right? Oh well........

You know who you are

After all this time.. you've made me feel like nothing but absolute garbage. I loved you. I loved every part of you because you made me happy. Happier than anyone has ever made me. It's been a year, and we're done. Barely anything is left of us. You and me? You might say we're good friends, but that isn't how I see it. I just can't let you go. I constantly think of just cutting you off, when I know I wouldn't be able to handle that for more than ten seconds. I see you as a person in my life, there for no reason. Why are you even here? There are so many people you can have instead of me. Go for them. I wish you luck, because I'm done when it comes to you and me. Ever want me again? Fight for it. I'll make you think it will be worth it, but after all this time, you've made me feel like nothing, so I'll make you feel worse.

"You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was just good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didnt' love her because you don't hurt people you love."

I love them!!! :)

10 secrets :)

1. i miss my old school wayyy too much
2. i miss him.
3. I wish i was a senior so i could get out of this small town filled with stuck up people that seriously live for drama and that is it. NO LIE.
4. I wish i was taller.
5. I'm actually very insecure
6. I want to move back to hawaii more than anythingggg in the world.
7. Every time i see 11:11 wish for more true friends, for my ex to realize what an idiot he is, and to be prettier for VSA.
8. I regret somethings i have done in the past year but i know i shouldn't because those things make me stronger and realize who is supposed to stay in my life and who isn't
9. I cry a lot more than people think
10. I don't want a facebook. Even though everyone tells me i need one its basically saying you need more drama in your life and i really don't I'm pretty content with how my life is going right now. :)

Ooh na na what's my name?

hey,
so yesterday was a pretty interesting day for me. here's what happened: so i had a swim meet i made nationals :) and i got a text from a certain someone that i wasn't expecting...exxxxxx :/ yeah. so i didn't really want to reply but he kept texting me and he was actually being nice for the first time in a long time. and i know he wants to get back together now but after what he's put me through i just don't know if i want to do that again....

CHALLENGEEEE!!!

Love Love Love Dares :)

1. 10 secrets
2. 9 loves
3. 8 fears
4. 7 wants
5. 6 places you want to go
6. 5 foods
7. 4 books
8. 3 films
9. 2 songs
10. 1 thing you couldn't live without

My life be like oohhhh awhhh ooooohhhh awh oooh awh!!

So the past two weeks have been EXTREMELY  interesting. Major life change: broke up with my boyfriend of a year. I thought i wanted him back but it turns out i just wanted to have someone not particularly him. I'm still trying to get over the fact that i dont have a boyfriend anymore buttt im staying strong and trying to move on... if its meant to be we will find each other in the end.

Heyyy guys :)

Hiiiii :)
I know probably no one will read this but its like an online journal to me :) I'm gonna update as much as possible about everyone and everything that's making me the person i am becoming. I'm still getting the hang of this so patience would be appreciated.